Kabra Puppet Pals
by FallingforWerewolves
Summary: A collection of 39 Clues parodies of Potter Puppet Pals videos.  Now includes Evan's Birthday, Amy and Ian's Nightmares.  Rated T for Puppet Pals use of language.  Including one bleeped out f-bomb.
1. Evan's Birthday

**A/N: For those who have watched the video "Neville's Birthday" on Youtube, and for those who have not, this is a parody of the Potter Puppett Pals video. Therefore, the characters will be OOC. Except maybe Ian. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Potter Puppett Pals, the 39 Clues, or Youtube.**

* * *

><p>"I'm so excited for tonight" said Ian. "I'm going to go see 'Insane Brit Posse'. Yeah!"<p>

"I'm going to a Richard Dockings book signinng," Sinead bragged. "It's going to be great!"

"And I'm trying out for the lead part in 'Annie'," Dan stated, his life-long prank idea finally coming into action. "Wish me luck!'

"Don't tell me what to wish, Daniel," Ian spat coldly.

Suddenly, Alistair came up to them. "May I have your attention, please?"

"You can have my fist in your face! Sorry, Alistair, go on," Ian replied.

"I have exciting news!" Alistair continued.

"Yay exciting news!" the trio exclaimed.

"You're all attending a birthday party being held for our beloved friend, Alan Tolliver."

Ian and Dan muttered amongst themselves that they had no clue who that was.

"Do you mean _Evan_ Tolliver?" Sinead asked, interuppting the nonsense of the two boys beside her.

"Oh, yes," Alistair said absentmindedly, "my mistake."

"What's a birthday party?" Dan asked. He had never had one before.

"I'm sure I'll see all of you there tonight." Alistair seemed to have not heard Dan's question.

"Oh," Ian said, trying to come up with an excuse to miss it. "Um, actually, I've got a lot of stuff to do tonight."

"Because if I don't," Alistair rambled on, "you'll all be in serious trouble. Au revoir, little biscuit." And he left them.

"What the slash flick?" Ian snapped. "Evan is the worst!"

"I'm already uncomfortable," Sinead mummbled.

"Goblin crotch. Well, at least it's not for three hours," Ian said, relieved.

_3 hours later..._

Ian felt the urge to face-palm. "I need to stop taking my three hour naps."

Just then, Evan popped up.

"Hey guys! Are you having fun?"

"No!" Ian shouted. "I'm having dark, disturbing thoughts that I don't like to talk about!"

"Oh, Ian," Evan replied while chuckling, "you tell funny jokes. Hello Sinead."

Sinead took this as a signal to get as far away as possible.

"Hi Evan," Dan said, in an attempt to be nice. "I tried to write you a birthday card."

"You're so kind, Dan," Evan told him.

"Alright," interuppted Ian, getting impatient. "Where's the booze?"

Evan gasped in shock. "We're too young for grown-up drinks, Ian. My grandmother says-"

Ian lost it. "I don't care about your grandmother! I'm Ian Kabra!"

He then went into a long rant about how much he didn't care while Alistair, Fiske and Eisenhower were talking over across the room.

"Why do we celebrate birth?" asked Fiske. "It marks the dates of our own violent exiles from the warmth of the womb to the cold of the light."

Silence.

"I once saw a cat give brith," Alistair stated randomly.

_Back on the other side of the room..._

"And then he got tired of pinching me," Dan was saying.

"Lovely story, Dan" Sinead said.

"Hey guys!" Ian called out. "I found a door! Let's leave through it!"

But Evan, being Evan, popped up and asked for everyone's attention. To which Ian said "God dammit!"

"It's time for the birthday games," Evan announced.

"Ooh," Dan's easily distracted mind had taken over, "what games shall we play?"

"Our first game is called 'Walk in Circles'. Everyone walks in circles around the birthday boy."

"What? That sounds stupid! I refuse!" Ian had decided that he was not going to take this sitting down.

Evan looked sad. "I love walk in circles. I used to play it with my parents until..."

_Minutes later..._

"WALK IN CIRCLES! WALK IN CIRCLES! WALK IN CIRCLES 'ROUND THE BIRTHDAY BOY!"

"So," Alsitair began, "Fiske, did you bring a present?

"What about the gift of education?" Fiske asked. "Of wisdom?"

"Well, I made him a yo-yo that is guaranteed to ward off girls," Alistair said proudly.

Eisenhower shrugged. "I got him a dead pig."

_Back with the others..._

"Man, I can't believe Alistair's forcing us to do this," Ian complained.

Sinead shrugged, nonplussed. "I like mandatory things."

"Yeah, well, at least there are other people we know here," Ian remarked as he and Sinead looked around. "Like, look over there! It's Hamilton Holt."

"And look," Sinead said while pointing at someone. "There's Dan."

"Wow," Ian said, surprised. "He's here too? Small world."

Evan came up to them. "The birthday cake is ready."

"Cake?" Ian's features immediately brightened. "Maybe this party doesn't have to suck!"

Dan ran up to them. "Did somebody say cake?"

"Even I enjoy cake in moderation," Sinead commented.

"Yay!" Evan was excited for probably the first time in his life. "Follow me!"

So they did follow Evan, who had decided to sing the whole way. Ian broke in with a "Oh my God, man, hurry up!"

"It is a march of happiness," Evan said twirling.

Sinead turned to Ian. "I can't even remember why we're doing this."

"Bear through it," he answered. "We'll be fed. Sweet spongy bread and buttermilk frosting. A delicacy."

Evan turned back to look at them. "We're almost halfway there!"

"F**k," Ian muttered.

When they finally arrived at the cake, they found Eisenhower and a drunk Fiske there.

"Oh, hey kids," Fiske said, looking rather "tipsy". "Checking out the cake are you?"

"You smell funny, Fiske," Dan observed.

"You. Smell. GREAT," Fiske told him.

"Oh boy," Evan commented, "look at my cake! It's so beautiful!"

"Oooh," Ian, Sinead and Dan said in sync (and sarcastically).

"It's just a cake," Fiske said with an odd smile on his face.

"I get the first slice," Ian called. He then noticed the cake was moving. "Why is it shaking?"

Alistair burst out of the cake wearing nothing but a pair of pants. Then, to everyone's horror, he started singing.

"_Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh_," he sang. "_Happy Cahill Birthday! Fun Adeventure Birthday! Fun, Cahill, Happy Birthday Fun Fun Fun Fun. Vanilla Flavour Birthday Cake! Lots of wishes you will make! Happy Birthday Dance with everyone! 2, 3, 4! Birthday Cahill Fun!"_

Now everyone began singing along.

"_Party Happy Birthday!"_

"_Cahill Parties Rule!"_

"_Super Happy Cahill Happy Birthday!"_

"_Madrigal!"_

"_Party All!"_

"_Tomas!"_

"_Sports and stuff!"_

_"Ekaterina!"_

"_Hell naw!"_

"_Pretty sure that's everybody!_" Insert Ian Kabra glare here.

"_Happy Cahill Birthday! Really fun party! Children eating cake inside their mouths! Cahill Lesson Number One: Never Not Be Having Fun! Children Eating Cake Inside Their Mouths!_"

"Wow," Fiske said. "It's my birthday?"

"Wait," Ian snapped. "This is the cake we're supposed to put in our mouths?"

"I didn't get myself anything! Oh no!" Fiske exclaimed.

"What's wrong, Ian?" Evan asked.

"This party is ruining my excellent life," Ian announced. "First, I had to miss 'Insane Brit Posse'. Then, I had to talk directly to Evan. And now, the cake is tainted. Literally tainted! I am going to kill myself if I have to endure anymore of this lameness!"

"You think I'm lame?" Evan asked, hurt.

"Uh, yeah!"

Evan gasped. "But my granmother-"

"Lame!" Ian interrupted. "Look Evan, I speak from the heart. No one likes you."  
>"It's true, Evan," Sinead added. "It's a fact."<p>

"Even I look down on you," Dan announced. "_Me_."

"What did I tell you, Evan?" Ian said, stealing the spotlight yet again. "No one likes you."

Evan looked rather depressed. "Well, if that's how you really feel..." Evan pushed a button on his watch. "Evan self-destruct."

"What the-" Ian began.

BOOM!

"Oh no," Fiske exclaimed, still drunk.

"What in Katherine's name was that?" Sinead asked.

Dan shuddered and cowered behind Sinead.

"I didn't know t-t-t-that that could h-h-happen," Ian stuttered. "Can that happen?"

Alistair shook his head. "Oh children. Shame on you. He just wanted to be your friend, and you exploded him. Shame on you."

"I'm sorry," Dan mumbled.

"I guess I feel a little bad," Sinead sighed.

"Oh my God," Ian exclaimed. "I killed him. The power of words. The power of words! He was here and now he's just chuncks. He's just chuncks! Oh, Evan."

And so, that's how Evan died. And there was much celebrating aftrwards.

* * *

><p><strong>I decided to leave out the eating him part in the end because I didn't want to turn them into cannibals. Anyway, I'm thinking of continuing this with some of the other videos. In fact, I'm going to start writing "Amy" next.<strong>

**Hope you like!**


	2. Amy

**A/N: This is a parody of the Potter Puppett Pals video. Therefore, the characters will be OOC. Except maybe Ian. **

**P.S. For just this once, let's pretend that Dan and Amy have the same hair colour.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Potter Puppett Pals, the 39 Clues, or Youtube.**

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><p>Ian Kabra had decided that this was the day he would talk to Amy Cahill. Wish him luck.<p>

"Oh, Amy," he began, totally confident in his speaking skills. "You're so hot. You're like a stove. You're like a zesty pepper."

Amy just sat there reading and not saying anything.

"I feel this conection," Ian continued. "I don't know what it is about you. I feel like you're my best friend. My hot best friend. You're so beautiful. Like a Thomas Kincay **(not sure if that's how you spell it) **painting. I'm so into you. Hey, don't move. I'll be right back."

Amy still didn't respond, but Ian took off anyway.

"Hey, Dan," Ian called out to him. "I was just with your sister. She's so hot, Dan. Heads up; I'm gonna date your sister."

"Oh," Dan said in a bored tone, "that's really nice, Ian. What a-"

"I feel bad for you, Dan," Ian interrupted. "It's like you probably don't even know how hot your sister is. She's really hot."

"I don't know what-" Dan tried to say, but was intterupted by Ian again.

"I'm gonna make-out with your sister tonight. Gonna French it up! I don't need your approval."

"I fully support," Dan started to say, but Ian was already sprinting back over to Amy, who was still reading and hadn't moved an inch.

"Oh, Amy, good God girl! I can't get you out of my mind! Your eyes drive me wild, you know that! Oh, and your hair. I was just thinking, you know what would be really hot? I mean, like, _really _hot? If you got like, you know, a pixie cut. Like, real short and modern. I don't know; call me crazy, I just think it would really do it for me. I know what I like, and I like two things. Clue hunting and you. And me. Be right back."

So Ian ran off to Dan again.

"Hello again, Ian," Dan said.

"Ah!" Ian yelled. "Don't jump out at me like that. A face like yours should come with a warning. Geez!"

"I'm sorry Ian," Dan apologized. "I didn't mean to frigthen-"

"I'm freaking out, Dan!" Ian exclaimed. "I'm so nervous! I don't know how to ask your sister out! She's too hot."

"That's quite a problem," Dan observed.

"Look," Ian said calmly. "I just need to pratice. I'll be me," he took a random hair bow out of his pocket and held it out, "and you put on this bow and pretend to be Amy."

"Ooh," Dan said, intrigued. "A role play."

Once Dan had put on the bow, Ian took a deep breath.

"Hey, Amy. How's it going? That's cool. Listen, I'm a man, you're a girl. The world could end tomorrow for all we know. Only a fool would wait! So come on, Amy; be my girlfriend?"

And then, in his best Amy voice, Dan replied "I would love to, Ian!"

"You would? Oh, you've made me the happiest man alive, Amy! I'm so happy, I could kiss you."

They leaned closer... and closer... and closer until they were about six inches apart when Ian whispered. "Simulation complete."

"I'm ready now!" he announced moving away from Dan. "Thank you, Dan!"

"No problem, Ian," Dan told him.

And with that, Ian sped back towards Amy.

While Ian was over talking to Dan, Amy had tied her hair up because it kept falling in her eyes while she was trying to read. Therefore, it looked as if she had cut her hair short. She also had a bow in it.

"Amy!" Ian said surprised. "You got that haircut! It's nice. I love it! Um, wait a minute. Don't move. I'll be right back."

Ian then walked over to Dan, who, for some unknown reason, had not taken the bow out of his hair.

"Hmm," Ian said. He then walked back over to Amy. And then back to Dan. Then back to Amy. Then back to Dan. Then back to Amy.

Eventually, Ian stopped in between the two and took out one of the Lucian poisons he always carried with him.

"Well, goodbye world."

He then drank to the poison and fell to the ground.

Amy looked up from her book for the first time to see Ian on the ground. She looked over at Dan who just shrugged.

* * *

><p><strong>There you have it!<strong>

**Next up is "Ian's Nightmares". Which one should I do after that?**


	3. Ian's Nightmares

**A/N: This is a parody of the Potter Puppett Pals video. Therefore, the characters will be OOC. Except maybe Ian. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Potter Puppett Pals, the 39 Clues, or Youtube.**

* * *

><p>Ian was trying to do one of those things Dan called a "video blog".<p>

"Hello! As Ian Kabra, my life is great and enviable." Ian figured this was the best way to start a video. "But let me tell you," he said all dramatic like. "It ain't all a big glass of Perrier. I have seen some s**t. I've been hunted, abused and attacked. I have mental scarrs. So while I may be handsome and succesful in my day life, it is at night that I can't escape the terrible images that bounce around in the dark cavern that is my tortured nogging."

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is when Ian decided to talk about his nightmares.

"Like this one time, I had a horrible nightmare. So, I was just hanging out, being awesome, when Fiske showed up. And he was all like 'Mr. Kabra. You're flunking Madrigal lessons. What are your college plans?' But he just kept getting angrier and angrier and angrier. Finally he flipped out and he tried to kill me with a hammer!

"Another time, I dreamt that I was dancing. It was beautiful. I was so great. But then Jonah showed up and he started to upstage me! He did moves I'd never seen before, and all the girls and Dan were like 'He's so cool'. So I tried to bust a sweet move in retaliation, but suddenly my feet couldn't move! It sucked!

"Another nightmare I had: I was pregnant. And I went into labour and I gave birth to Dan. And I had to raise him from infancy, clothe him, feed him. But then I misplaced him and this was terrifying because it meant that I had failed as a parent."

Ian was getting right into it now.

"Oh, and one time I dreamt that Sinead was addicted to amphetamines. She kept digging through my stuff trying to find things to steal. So Dan and I held an intervention, but then Sinead flipped out and tried to kill us with a hammer.

"And another time, I dreamt that I was middle aged. Yuck!"

Ian shuddred at the thought.

"But the worst nightmare I ever had: I was at the Cahill command centre and I saw Alistair. He looked so decrepit, ghastly. He kept telling me that I wasn't Ian Kabra. And I was like 'Of course I'm Ian Kabra, Alistair'. But he just looked at me through those unfathomable eyes and told me that I was a patient in a psychiatric hospital and that my mind had constructed this fantasy universe of the Cahills all in order to escape the guilt of having watched my wife die."

Ian then broke out of his dramatic voice.

"That sure was a spooky dream! Anyway, what are some of your worst clue-hunting nightmares?" Ian felt the need to include his audience. "Leave me a comment or a video response. And remember to subscribe!"

Dan and Sinead had been in the background the whole time and were extremely confused.

"Okay,Ian," Sinead said. "We'll do those things you just told us to do."

"Subscribe to what?" Dan asked.

"Shh," Sinead hissed.

"Whatever," Dan mumbled.

* * *

><p><strong>There's Ian's Nightmares done. Next is Lucian Angst. Fun! After that is Dan's Disease.<strong>

**Hope you like!**


	4. Lucian Angst

**A/N: This is a parody of the Potter Puppett Pals video. Therefore, the characters will be OOC. Except maybe Ian. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Potter Puppett Pals, the 39 Clues, or Youtube.**

* * *

><p>"I feel cranky and pubescent today and I don't know why!" Ian announced, then growled. "I'm going to take it out on people I like!"<p>

Dan had the luck to walk into the room.

"Hello Ian," Dan said. "What sort of tomfoolery shall we get up to today?"

"No tomfoolery today, Dan. I'm sick of your dreadful, acne covered face!"

Dan looked wounded. "Why must you hurt me in this way, Ian?" he asked in a small voice.

"Yeah," Sinead exclaimed (she had seemingly popped out of nowhere). "What's your problem, Ian?"

"My parents are criminals, my life sucks, I can't hold down a girlfriend, and I'm surronded by f**king Tomas and s**t all the time. I mean, what the f**k?"

"But it's Cahill stuff, Ian. Tomas are important," Dan told him.

"Well," Ian continued ranting, "I still have nightmares of the Holt twins eating my skin clean off every night! I can't take it anymore! I quit being a Cahill!"

Dan gasped.

"But, Ian," Sinead said, "what about fighting your mother?"

Ian sighed. "Fine. It's all up to you now, Dan."

"B-b-b-b-b-bu-u-u-ut-t-t-t," Dan stuttered.

"Come on now," Ian exclaimed. "Fight her!"

Then Ian pushed Dan towards Isabel Kabra.

"Hello little child," she purred.

Dan was shaking.

"You want a piece of me?" Isabel demanded.

Dan ran away.

"Yeah, you run away," Isabel chuckled.

Dan came to a stop beside Sinead. "I can't do it!"

"You tried your best, Dan," Sinead said comfortingly.

"What's Ian doing?" Dan inquired.

Ian was currently banging his head angainst the wall muttering "Angst, angst, angst, angst," over and over again.

"He's a little off today," Sinead observed. "Haven't you noticed?"

"Mabye he's in love," Dan sang.

"Who'd fall in love with such an a**?" Sinead demanded.

"Maybe he needs a hug," Dan suggested.

Ian had heard this last comment and objected. "I don't want a hug!"

"Give me a hug, Ian," Dan said calmly as he made his way over to Ian.

"No!"

Dan, being Dan, didn't listen. So he hugged Ian.

"Hugging," Dan said.

"I'll wound you!" Ian yelled and they began fighting.

Sinead managed to disappear before Fiske arrived.

"What is this rumpus?" Fiske exclaimed.

"Ian hit me!" Dan accused.

"Dan invaded my personal bubble!" Ian told him.

"Me thinks some sort of punishment is in order here," Fiske drawled.

"Oh no," Ian and Dan mumbled.

"The two of you shall be dragged by your ears to Starling boys room where a drunken Broderick Wizard with a cactus and a croquet mallet will be waiting. And then..."

But Ian and Dan got tired of listening to Fiske and told him to get a life. Fiske then walked off rather depressed whil Ian and Dan laughed about the incident. They were soon joined by Alistair.

"That was awesome guys!" he told them.

"Thanks, Alistair," Dan said.

"Are you still full of that Lucian Angst, Ian?" Alistair asked.

"I think I can appreciate life a lot more now," Ian replied in a thoughtful tone.

"Well that's just fantastic!" Alistair exclaimed. Sinead came up to them all.

"Hey guys," she said. "What's that smell?"

"Why, it's Fiske's greatest depression of all," Dan remarked.

They all burst out laughing at Fiske's expense.

Alistair then launched himself into the sky. The trio watched him shoot across the sky.

"Everyone make a wish," Ian whispered.

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><p><strong>Lucian Angst is done! Next up is Dan's Disease.<strong>

**Hope you enjoyed!**

**:)**


	5. Dan's Disease

**A/N: This is a parody of the Potter Puppett Pals video. Therefore, the characters will be OOC. Except maybe Ian. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Potter Puppett Pals, the 39 Clues, or Youtube.**

* * *

><p>"Hi," Ian said to no one in particular. "I'm Ian Kabra. What a beauftiful day here at the Cahill command centre."<p>

Dan came up beside him. "Every day is beautiful with you here, Ian. But..."

"But what, Dan?" Ian asked, annoyed. "What could be wrong?"

Dan sighed. "I've got a secret affliction, Ian."

"Disgusting!" Ian yelled and jumped away from Dan.

"You don't even know what it is, Ian," Dan protested. "It's lice."

"Get out!" Ian said in disbelief.

"It's Madrigal lice," Dan added.

"Did somebody say lice?" Alistair said, suddenly appearing behind Dan.

"I said lice," Dan announced and then in a whisper asked "how did you know?"

"Ian, you need to help your friend. Another infestation is the last thing the world needs," Alistair told them, ignoring Dan's question.

Ian sighed. "Alright."

"Now since lice are scientific creatures, you must venture to the edge of the counrty to seek the help of Eisenhower, the giant sports buff," Alistair instructed. "He'll know what to do!"

"Yay!" Dan exclaimed and began dancing around.

Ian slapped Dan's arm. "Don't do that!" Ian demanded. "Let's go."

And off they went.

* * *

><p>They eventually found the place where Eisenhower Holt was rumored to live and went inside the house.<p>

Ian sniffed the air in distain. "Ugh. I can't breathe!"

"Ooh," Dan said, pointing to something large and furry. "What's that?"

"What?" Ian asked in confusing before looking in the direction in which Dan was pointing.

"It's a giant furry mattress!" Dan decided. "May I jump on it?"

Ian rolled his eyes. "Do what you want you diseased child. Wait," Ian whispered. "Don't. It's moving!"

Eisenhower stood up and in the process let the fur blanket he had been using fall to the floor.

"Hello Mr. Eisenhower," Dan began to say.

But Eisenhower was still foggy with sleep and hit Dan in the face so hard he knocked him over.

Ian decided it was time to step in. "We've come for your sporting advice, Eisenhower."

"What?" Eisenhower asked, still not fully awake.

"I've got Madrigal lice, Eisenhower," Dan called up from the floor. "And I need your help!"

Eisenhower's brain finally registered what was going on.

"Okay then," he said sleepily. "Just let old Eisenhower take a nap."

He then fell asleep again.

Ian hit on the back of the head. "You just took a nap! Get up you old meat sack!"

"Alright, alright," Eisenhower said getting up.

"Right here," Ian said, holding a magnifying glass to Dan's head, for he had finally gotten up off the floor. "Take a look. Millions of little monsters have spawned on Dan's already filthy scalp," Ian commented.

"Oh," Eisenhower said. "Well, boys, listen here."

Out of nowhere music being playing. Ian and Dan took this as a cue to start bobbing up and down while Eisenhower sang.

"_If you want to take care of Madrigal lice, you gotta listen to Eisenhower's good advice. Rub meat in your hair 'til it starts to stink, and let it sit for an hour then rinse it off in the sink. Then take some mayonaise and rub it in your roots. And wipe it all off on an old pair of boots. Spin in a circle, clap your hands twice; now you ain't got any lice._"

As the music ended, Ian and Dan stopped moving.

"Great song, Eisenhower," Dan said. "But I can't afford mayonaise."

"Well, what if we just light his head on fire?" Ian suggested, thinking it was a good idea.

Eisenhower shook his head. "There's another way to cure Madrigal lice. But you ain't gonna like it," he said looking at Dan.

* * *

><p>They somehow managed to hang Dan upside-down from the ceiling.<p>

"Are you sure this is going to work, Eisenhower?" Dan asked, slightly dizzy from the blood rushing to his head.

"Shut up," Eisenhower told him before hitting him with a mallet. Repeatedly.

"You're cured," Eisenhower stated a few seconds later.

"Oh, thank you, Eisenhower," Dan moaned as he swung from his feet. "I feel one hundred percent better now. It's as if the lice never even..."

_With the power of Eisenhower's mallet, I could solve all of my problems,_ Ian thought. Then he yelled out "Eisenhower!"

"What?" Eisenhower asked.

"Your skills are needed elsewhere. Follow me and bring your muscles!" Ian told him.

"But I'm tired," Eisenhower protested. "You go do it yourself."

"I'll leave a small pile new sports magazines outside your door, every day, for a month," Ian said, bribing Eisenhower.

Eisenhower gasped. "You've got yourself a deal, Ian."

"Okay, follow me!" Ian exclaimed excitedly.

* * *

><p>They made their way back to the Cahill command centre where they first ran into Sinead.<p>

"Hello, Ian," she said. "Hello, Eisenhower."

"Hello, female Dan," Ian said before muttering to Eisenhower, "Okay, club it right now!"

So Eisenhower hit Sinead with his mallet causing her to fall to the ground.

"Yes," Ian said, doing a fist pump. "You've cured her lice, Eisenhower. Good boy!"

He then gave Eisenhower a sports magazine.

"Come on!" Ian called out as he spead on.

They ran into Fiske next.

"Mr. Kabra," Fiske drawled. "Have you completed your poisons homework? Hmm?"

"No!" Ian yelled. "Hit!"

Ian then ducked and watched as a totally confused Fiske got hit with the mallet.

"He's still got some lice," Ian announced. "Hit him again!"

Eisenhower did as he was told, which made Fiske fall unconscious.

"Fantastic!" Ian told Eisenhower. "Incredible! Let's go!"

After a few minutes, they ran into Isabel Kabra.

"Ah, Ian," Isabel said. "I've been waiting for you." She took out a gun and was just about to shoot when Ian said:

"No time to chat, Mum. I've gotta go!"

Ian went off, with Eisenhower on his trail, leaving a very confused Isabel Kabra behind.

"Hello Ian," Alistair said when Ian and Eisenhower had reached him. "Hello, Eisenhower. Did you vanquish your little friend's vermin yet?"

"You bet I did," Ian exclaimed. "Get him, Eisenhower!"

Eisenhower hit Alistair with the mallet, but instead of falling over, it sounded like Eisenhower has hit something metal.

"Trying to take a whack at the old Ekat, are you?" Alistair demanded.

Ian gasped. "Oh my God! He's an android!"

Alistair nodded solemly. "Yes, it's true. I am an android. A gay android."

DUN DUN DUN!

* * *

><p>"Hello?" Dan called out, still hanging from the ceiling in Eisenhower's house. "Is anyone there?"<p>

* * *

><p><strong>That's done! Next is "The Evan Tolliver Puppet" and then "Cahill Swears".<strong>

**Stay tuned!**


End file.
